Sunday, April 3, 2011

This level is filled with many doors

So I rolled to the tasting with Laurence Fishburne, because he is a big Champagne guy who also has these badass sunglasses, and he was all like "If one bottle fails, they all fail. All of our lives, we have fought this war. Today I believe we can end it." And I was like, I dig it L-Dog, tell me more! So he says "Today is not an accident. There are no accidents. We have not come here by chance." And I said, Damn Straight, badass glasses man, we had a taxi and some good directions. But then he goes: "I do not believe in chance. When I see 12 bottles, 12 tasters, 12 glasses, I do not see coincidence. I see Providence. I see Purpose. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our Destiny. I believe this day holds for each and every one of us, the Very Meaning of our Lives."

Which was all pretty heavy, so I went over to talk with the Oracle for a little while. She is always at these things, and she is usually pretty nice. "My goodness," she says "look at you! You turned out alright, didn't you? How do you feel?" So I tell the Oracle that I lost my job, and she seems to know already, and says to me "I know you're not sleeping. We'll get to that. But let's get the obvious stuff out of the way." And I'm like, well, I just lost a sommelier gig that I loved, and I have a lot of feelings attached to that, so I suppose the most obvious question is: how can I trust you? And she just looks right back at me, and says "Bingo! It is a pickle, no doubt about it. Bad news is there is no way to really know if I am here to help you or not. So it's really up to you. You just have to make up your own damn mind either to accept what I am going to tell you, or reject it." And I thought that was pretty fair.

Then she reaches out with a bottle, and asks
"Vouette & Sorbee Saignee de Sorbee?" And I say, do you already know if I am going to like this enough to rank it as my favorite of the tasting? And she's all nonchalant, and says "Wouldn't be much of an Oracle if I didn't," with this big Whatever shrug. But I want the answer, so I'm like, If you already know, how can I make a choice? She isn't having any of that, though, and shoots back "Because you didn't come here to make a choice about whether you love Vouette & Sorbee. You've already made it. I read your blog. You're here to try to understand why you made that decision." So I drink some Saignee de Sorbee, and she shows me that she is not to be played with. "I thought you'd have figured that out by now," she says.

Which was all pretty rough stuff, so I straight out ask the Oracle: why are you here? But she doesn't even blink. She says "Same reason: I love Vouette & Sorbee. We're all here to drink what we're all here to drink. I'm interested in one thing, Levi with an i, the good stuff in my champagne flute, and believe me, I know the only way you can afford this stuff is together. You know where you must go with this early mid-day buzz, right? You've seen it, in your dreams, haven't you? The Door of Non-Interventionist Method. What happens when you go through the Door?"

I was looking at a World without Time.

I had to choose.

I named the Saignee de Sorbee as my favorite wine of the tasting.

1 comment:

Steven said...

This is a huge improvement on the tasting note form.