Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What not to say

Not too long ago I was leading a staff tasting at work, and while describing a particular wine I made reference to a movie that pretty much everyone has seen when they were a kid. Nothing obscure, or Foreign, or Dramatic, mind you. I'm talking about major box office action and effects, with a spinoff video game in the arcade afterwards, the whole bit. And guess what? Nobody in the room, a group of about 30 people, had seen the movie or knew in the slightest what I was talking about. Which is when I realized that I have become an old man. I'm working with folks today who weren't even alive when I was passing afternoons watching films in the theatre instead of studying for the MW exam.

I've done a bit of polling and inquiry about this subject since that day. As it turns out, most of the references I use to describe wine are waaaay outdated, just as it is true that nobody says waaaay anymore, and in fact most people that I talk with today have little idea what I am trying to get at most of the time. I have become a relic. An original Star Trek redshirt, etc. To ensure this never happens to you, I have compiled a list of outdated references that the younger generation(s) has passed up. I have done this as a public service, with the hope that however old that you may become, that you never feel that old. At least not at a wine tasting, where most times someone is there trying to embarrass you anyway. These are not just movies and such that played awhile ago, that's not the deal. These are movies and such that played awhile ago, that were once quite popular, and that subsequently have been totally and utterly forgotten or never known by the young kids sippin' wine today. So, here goes, the cultural ephemera that you should avoid referencing in your wine talk:

Mr. Belvedere
Out of Africa
Pretty in Pink

The Full Monty
"More than Words" Extreme

Silver Spoons
Anything with Kevin Costner in it, especially if it is Bull Durham

"To Be With You" Mr. Big
Body Heat

Parker Lewis Can't Lose
"Kiss Them For Me" Siouxie and the Banshees

Jem and the Holograms
"I've Been Thinking About You" Londonbeat

"Unbelievable" EMF
A Different World
The Mysterious Cities of Gold
"Pop Goes the Weasel" 3rd Bass

Fraggle Rock
"Live and Learn" Joe Public

Care Bears
Designing Women
The Fall Guy
"Achy Breaky Heart" Billy Ray Cyrus

Family Ties
Greatest American Hero

Bigfoot and the Muscle Machines
"I Got A Man" Positive K

Night Court
Scarecrow and Mrs. King

The California Raisins
A River Runs Through It
"Zombie" The Cranberries

So there you have it. Don't go inserting any of the above into your wine speak unless you want to seem old, or unless I'm around to understand you.


Waynegrape said...

References that even *I* don't get:
--Mysterious Cities of Gold
--Live and Learn
--I got a Man
--Scarecrow and Mrs King (oh-so-vaguely familiar, but cant place it...Kate Jackson?)

Some more?
--Hardcastle and McCormack
--ABACAB by Genesis
--Bartles and James
--The Wonder years
--Pop Muzik by M
--ANYTHING by Hall and Oats

leviopenswine said...


I'm sorry that Positive K never kicked in like a Turbo Booster when you were around to see it.

I actually think The Wonder Years is a genuine crossover reference that has stood the test of time, but probably I am wrong about that.

Tracie P. said...

wayne g--i find that if one insists that a cultural reference should be understood by someone born in, say, 1990, one should reread the post and try to get out of denial.

i speak from experience ;)

that being said, i firmly believe that 'more than words' and the heart-wrenching harmonizing of the raven-haired power balladeers has definitely stood the test of time.

Lousy Grapes said...

Well you pretty much just summed up my entire childhood there. On one hand it makes me sad to think of the type of Hipster Youth that are taking over the wine game but on the other you can't argue with their passion for it. Even if they don't know who Ricky Schroder is.

adam said...

Are you talkin'? Pssh, whatever!

I'm having a hard time (and would love to know) how you would even reference 90% of these in relation to wine.

However, if you they give Family Guy and Robot Chicken enough time, I'm sure they can randomly reference most of these things, and the kids can vicariously "get it".

thegirleats said...

Hmmm, what happened to "Bah, Bah, Blacksheep" or was that airwolf? I can't remember? And FYI Frank is sitting next to me wearing a carebear shirt...but we're also old!