Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Orange Wine Dance

All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I seem like honey see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new skin contact fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Anfora Underground.
I pair up with all the uni ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Orangey, pronounced with a Gee-E
Yo ladies, oh how I like to pair wit thee.
And all the Chardonnay in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like a malo Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the sommeliers pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my ribolla funky,
I'm spunky. I like my clay eggs lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight skin contact mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your toasty, smokey vanilla
hey yo fat Somm, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm Orange
It never stopped me from gettin' poured
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the Friuli boom
I once got busy in a Carso bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm Orange and ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' glass
and I even got my own dance


The Orangey Dance is your chance to drink the Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, come on and drink the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, just watch me drink the Orangey Orange
Do ya know what I'm drinkin', drinkin' the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, drink the Orangey Orange


People say "Yo, Orange, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get people lookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but Vinho Verde you can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the Wind Gaps they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in 500ml my Radikon will tickle ya to tears.
My Orange is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a clay pot, Gravner's still gettin' paid
I get drunk by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my color is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like an Amber Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like Jakot or Looptid
I sang with Cornelissen, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab some Munjebel and Triscuits
Also told ya that I like tannic bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like acidic, right?
All ya had to do was give Orange a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.


The Orangey Dance is your chance to drink the Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, come on and drink the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, just watch me drink the Orangey Orange
Do ya know what I'm drinkin', drinkin' the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, drink the Orangey Orange


Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that Caucases right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my oak barrel was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin' natural yeast
Crazy wack funky little beasts

People say ya look like Malvasia on crack, Orangey
That's all right 'cause my decanter's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my drink, y'all, Orangey Orange's my name
No two growers will do it the same
Ya got it down when Chardonnay snobs appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya glass,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a pass

tell him step off, I'm doin' the Orange.

The Orangey Dance is your chance to drink the Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, come on and drink the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, just watch me drink the Orangey Orange
Do ya know what I'm drinkin', drinkin' the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, drink the Orangey Orange

 
Master Sommeliers, do the Orangey Orange, do the Orangey Orange
Busboys, do the Orangey Orange, do the Orangey Orange
Line Cooks, do the Orangey Orange, just keep on drinkin' the Orange
Overnight Porters, do the Orangey Orange, do the Orangey Orange
Let's get stoopid!


The Orangey Dance is your chance to drink the Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, come on and drink the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, just watch me drink the Orangey Orange
Do ya know what I'm drinkin', drinkin' the Orangey Orange
Do the Orangey Orange, drink the Orangey Orange

 
Oh, yeah, come on and pour it around

Once again, the Anfora Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the Natural world,
keep on doin' the Orangey Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and OWGS forever

5 comments:

EdChampagne said...

Loved it. Very clever, your Orangey dance. You do tongue-in-cheek well.

EDVMcC

EdChampagne said...

Like all fads, Orange wine is being played out too much. Loved your Orangey dance!

EdChampagne

Steven said...

I only think fondly of the Orange wines you mention, and look forward to hearing this track once you lay it down. Who's producing?

Scott McCulloch said...

"and if ya missed it,"
...just grab some Munjebel and
Triscuits"

Brilliant! What an inspired rhyme.

Next time you pick up the mike, I'd like to request a song in the person of Vin Jaune set to Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina."

thesaucyserver.com said...

I like your style.