Monday, April 8, 2013

The hit teevee show Wine Girls

Imagine if Hannah Horvath and her twenty-something pals were living in Brooklyn, having lots of sex, and trying to break into the wine business. Or don't imagine it, because I've kind of gone ahead and done that for you already.

Hannah wants to be a Wine Director but no restaurant in Manhattan will hire her without NYC experience. She tries interning in a cellar for awhile, but she is hopeless at breaking down the wine boxes. Also, they won't pay her, ever, and the other intern is the only one who understands the Cellar Management software. Desperate, she takes a job at the Williamsburg coffee shop Ray manages, which has been trying for several months to secure a liquor license.

Marnie grew up drinking first growths with her family, but can't afford them on her own, especially after a midtown wine retailer downsizes and leaves her without a job. She takes up a hostess position in the hopes of meeting someone able to open up the back vintages of Chateau Margaux that she is lusting after.

Jessa drank Overnoy with Pierre in an Arbois cafe ages ago, and can't understand why everyone is so hung up on Manu's wines now. She has moved on from her relationship with the Jura anyhow, and refers to that period as her "red pastel wild silk phase."

Shoshanna was a wine virgin, having only drunk pink cosmos for several years. She was afraid to admit to the others that she had never even been to the Ten Bells, but she changes her relationship to wine after Ray introduces her to Sherry. Now she can't decide if she is totes into single vineyard, or if she prefers fractional blending at times.

Adam used to threaten to beat up wine guys and steal their Burgundy money. But he's been going to therapy for that. It turns out that he really likes Bressandes. But maybe a little too much.

Ray berates people who don't like the strong tannins in the coffee at Grumpy, telling them to Go try some F*in Mondeuse for once in their lives. He has a rule against relationships with girls who dated drummers or casually drank Yellowtail with them.

Charlie is deeply knowledgeable about German Riesling, but has trouble sharing his true feelings about sweetness. He later creates a successful iPhone app that helps people avoid reordering the wrong Pradikat levels.

Thomas-John is actually just like the Thomas-John from Girls


Those Beats said...

This is freaking hilarious. Totes single vineyard and fkn Mondeuse. Brilliant!

Scott said...


This is so f*cking good!